Has choosing your first wedding dance got you in a spin? (see what I did there) It can be a tough one to pick, as for some of us the thought of dancing in front of all those guests can bring on a cold sweat! Do you want something romantic? Do you have a song that is personal to you both? Do you actually love a good showy all-out-no-holes-barred dance routine? How do you choose just the right one? Just how do you choose your 'I am going to remember this song for the rest of my life' first dance song!?!!!! I have put together a handy guide for you to hopefully help you find 'the one' (the song that is, hopefully, you did that bit well already!) or at least that will be good enough ;)
When we were in the planning stages of our wedding, I and my then-husband-to-be really enjoyed the fun of putting our entire wedding playlist together, but we were stumped on the first dance song for quite some time! Be assured that like us you will get there in the end! Or maybe you already have the perfect pick, that's great! Whether you do or don't, I hope this post provides you with some food for thought, maybe it'll even help you remember songs you may have forgotten about! We used Spotify to put ours together, and I recommend starting a playlist on Spotify or Apple Music, Deezer, etc. whatever you feel happy using really. That way you can both listen to, add, and remove songs separately and together, and hopefully start to whittle down your songs until you can find just the right choice. (or not at all - more on that later).
So, without further ado, begin here!
Tip 1 - Songs with special meaning
Do you and your partner already have any songs that mean something special to you both as a couple? Perhaps there is a song you heard together at a significant moment in your lives? Or maybe you know of a song that just sums you up a couple! This can be an obvious great place to start. So if you can already name that tune in a heartbeat feel free to stop here! If you've got a couple of important songs, stick 'em on the list, and maybe carry on through my tips. Not all couples have a song that is just 'them' though so if that is you not to worry, there are plenty more ways to find that special first dance song. Help is on the way!
Tip 2 - Song Lyrics
Romantic or even quirky, there are some songs out there that just say it so well, they convey the feeling just right, or can sometimes even seem to sum you up in a way that feels like the lyricist has been watching your whole life play out, and written the song about no one but you. Words can be incredibly personal. If you think of a song like this, it's also good to thoroughly check the words through so that you don't have an embarrassing 'inappropriate wording' moment! I and my husband nearly settled on 'I only want to be with you' a song by Curtis Stigers because we loved the chorus, but when we checked the lyrics through it had mention of 'having had quite a few women' - that might be okay for others, but for us as a couple suddenly it didn't feel like quite the right sentiment that we were trying to achieve! We still love the song though!
# I've known some women,
More than a few,
And I have never felt the way I do,
Cause I'll only wanna be with you # - Curtis Stigers
Tip 3 - Don't overthink it!
As much as you think it has to be, it really doesn't have to be perfect! All you really need at the end of the day is a song that you both enjoy and would feel comfortable having a little dance to in front of your guests. There are going to be so many important moments in your life together that you may find that your first dance just fades into the distance. If you put me on the spot right now and asked me what my first dance song was, I honestly couldn't tell you. And, I'll let you in on a little secret - a different song was accidentally played instead of the one we chose! It went wrong! But it really didn't matter, what mattered was that I was getting to marry the man I love (big grin). So take my friendly advice and don't send yourself into a tizzy overthinking it, it just isn't worth it!
Tip 4 - Make it match
Another angle you could try is to see if there is a song that matches the theme of your wedding. For instance, I know it's not a first dance song but we got married and held our reception in a museum, so, of course, we definitely had to have the cheeky addition of 'Night at the museum' on our playlist! (you're certainly getting a good insight into me and my husband here). Perhaps you are going for a barn wedding, with a bit of a country theme to it, a good choice could then be one of your favourite romantic country songs - it would match really well. Or maybe you are opting for a more traditional style wedding for example, in that case you'd probably want something a bit more classic than, say, 'Let's get it on' by Marvin Gaye.
Tip 5 - Movie inspo.
Are you or your partner a massive film buff? An absolutely fantastic first dance movie song that comes straight to mind is the one from 'Dirty Dancing', '(I've had) the time of my life.' Ahhh the lift! So great! And so bloomin' romantic! Okay okay, so perhaps neither of you are a 'Dirty Dancing' fan, or a showy dance fan, but have a think about what you are a fan of. You'll probably find you'll be spoilt for choice. Think 'City of stars'(La La Land), 'I don't wanna miss a thing'(Armageddon), or 'It had to be you' (When Harry met Sally) to name a few.
Tip 6 - Who's playing it?
A good consideration when choosing your first dance song is to think about who or how you are going to be playing it. If you are having a live band play at your wedding, make sure that they are comfortable playing your chosen song, or happy to learn it, and ensure you ask for their advice too - they may be able to tell you, say if your song choice is just not going to come across well played by them, as some types and styles of music don't always translate well played in other ways. Or, on the flip side of this, you may want to choose a particular song because you know it is going to sound killer played by your band of choice.
Tip 7 - Look to the Stars
No, not those heavenly celestial bodies in the sky! Your inspiration could potentially be lurking behind a celebrity couple. Why not have a look at what some of the celebs went for, for instance, David and Victoria Beckham chose 'It Had To Be You' by The Starlight Orchestra, Taylor Lautner and Taylor Dome's chose Justin Bieber's 'Lifetime', and Fearne Cotton and Jesse Wood opted for Lana Del Rey’s ‘Video Games’.
Tip 8 - Friends & Family
A really straightforward one is that you could just consult the people that know you best, as individuals, and as a couple. Ask your nearest and dearest, you may find that you are pleasantly surprised with what they come up with! It goes without saying if you just don't like any of their kindly suggestions remember you don't have to go with any of them!
Tip 9 - Don't have one
Pssst! You might find it a shocker, but did you know that not every couple has a first dance. Yup! The thing that really needs to be stressed with weddings, I find, is that it is your day, no-one else's and you should have it in whatever way you want! And if that means you just want to skip it altogether, or just have a first dance where everyone joins you on the dance floor straight away then do that. Go with what feels right to you as a couple.
Tip 10 - Compile, reduce, and conquer!
When you have covered all these bases you should by now have a good selection of songs on your playlist to choose from. Now is the time to grab a glass, sit down and relax with your fiancé listening to your tunes and start to whittle them down. Just take the chance to enjoy the process with the one you love, it should definitely be enjoyed not endured. Above all have fun!
That's it! Hopefully, you have managed to land on a song that just feels right to you, or are at least a little closer because you are now equipt with a few more angles to tackle it from. The best of luck to you both in choosing your first dance song, and just remember to relax and enjoy the process!
Why not drop me a message below to tell me what you came up with, and how you got there!
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